… how is it possible to miss someone you’ve never spent time with?
Look not for it and you it shall find
all the same substance,
having no goal
yet brimming with purpose
shaping itself to that which
the torrent (below)
attachment to outcome;
and embrace therefrom
the slow, benign (inconspicuous)
and the vastness of meaning
that from it so glows.
and morphing throughout
in events as minute
as their occurrence bizarre
all we must do is listen and watch
as we permit it to weave
the life we could never conceive.
She swims in a vastness which drifts
and within its essence caresses;
in affection of past, foregone, uncovered,
through rhythm and motion and boundless expanse.
So it becomes
(her advance of no mould)
in uncertainty covered and tension released,
as she swims through the vastness
(swallowed by it)
and her fondness softly embraces.
Dancing and folding,
the lure through a distance so forceless and free.
Living and breathing,
your gaze where eyes openly both of us see.
Observing and asking,
of closeness contained in the embrace where you flee.
Leaving with you the path clear to me
and awaiting the call which us both shall set free.
Taking your touch
– what temporal fancy –
for naught in the past
and much less the present
there for us lays.
It lays thereafter
where torrents connective
There, where emptiness lays
and the disparate in closeness delivers.
Sensing it certain and grasping unable
in there, where nothingness lays.
Ineffable, that void perpetual
where all which is worthy shall seed.
From it and through it,
arriving at once,
the knowledge embodied in madness conceived
by gifts collected from unity’s trees
you touch me and through me are freed.
As I began to feel I began to swim through life. Reality was no longer a spectacle of observation, but a feat of sensation; no longer made up of air, but the fluid which binds all existence – past, present and future, faraway and immediately close – into the mesh constituting each moment’s experience. I sense, therefore I am. I take my body with me as I permit it to inform me of concepts thinking alone could never conjure.
The current age of exalted analytical reason had clouded my corporal intelligence for too long. It is no wonder we suffer from mental illness if all we inhabit, if all we are taught is worthy of inhabiting, is the realm of the mind. It is but an imbalance, a healthy part of a rounded whole turned sour in receiving undivided focus at the expense of other organs of sense. To reflect is a great gift, but our ability to feel must consciously envelop our capacity for analytical evaluation should we seek wisdom in a state where we do not abuse one another, or the greater ecological whole we are a part of.
Inhabiting our bodies carries a knowledge whose value is not undermined because it is ineffable; it merely exists in a realm that language, our analytical mind’s primary tool, cannot access. To dismiss its existence based on this failure of representation is foolish; and to access it begs dedicated practice with tools which can. The body is where I begin and as my practice deepens, I peek within my tissues to discover a sensory organ, ubiquitous and intuitive, which processes information much the way my brain does – by receiving endless stimuli and unconsciously transforming them into guidance for my being, as I swim and sway and dance lightly between past, present and future, feeling.
This excerpt is inspired by my readings of Susanne K. Langer’s work on the symbology of music, as well as a love for rhythmic, embodied and undulating movement.
I await your gaze,
your lips and touch and passion’s purpose
upon the skin that glows
for your caress alone.
To be lost in me,
rapture seeded in impulsive embrace,
as I fold around and hold you tender
much like fruit in petals spring foresees.
For when the body feels of lovers true
so sprouts in gleaming shine,
the yearning, budding,
for your caress alone.
This work is dedicated to all the lovers distanced by our current emergency; to the flow of nascent romance that must find its way through patience to maintain its grace.
Do not abandon, love, what was there for you before, as for you thereafter it shall remain.
Hello there, whoever you might be,
I am writing these words at a time when the world has arrived at a point of reckoning, where life feels as though it has been disrupted and many hang on the expectation of a return to normality. Worry, uncertainty and grief are some of the emotions that have reached me, mirroring what I believe is the understanding that a return to what we used to call ‘normal’ may never occur.
Before you dismiss this as fatalistic, I want to share the reason I am priming my body and mind to accept this possibility. I think we all knew, on some level, that the hyperactive organism, our society, was stressed, inflamed and at war with itself. The heat, the speed, the flux of events and information were overwhelming us as we consciously sped towards our own annihilation. I dare then ask – was that normal preferable to what we might conceive past our current inflection point?
I must admit I have embraced these times as an invitation for the transformation I and our entire world needed. Far from idealism about a perfect future of peace and prosperity, I find refuge in the understanding that crises will forever invite change. And I believe change was (and still is) a’ comin’. What shall we manifest from it? That truly is down to us, to each individual’s response and willingness to reimagine our future. Make no mistake – the image each one of us holds in our minds is a thread in the tapestry our collective intelligence ends up weaving into what we refer to as our ‘objective, occurring reality.’
Even if it may feel like this period of viral segregation offers nothing but a darkening, I invite you to consider that it is the balance of life which ensures that after a darkening comes the light. Patience is all that separates these two mutually-affirming surfaces, and the light that shall follow is but an aggregate of our individual sparks.
I plead that you take the time to consider what your spark harbours and to accept all that arises with equanimity and a readiness to support those who may struggle more than you. As a collective, we shall survive this threat, which though painful is most likely gruesome on a different scale in the parallel reality where it is not Corona, but a cousin of the Black Death which is eliminating a whole portion of our species. I am not attempting to trivialise our current state, but merely to aid digestion through perspective on the fact things can always be much, much worse. Holding each other in our mind’s eye and acting with strength, vigilance, compassion and a curiosity for the brighter future is fully within our capability. With urgency, I ask you to embrace this capacity and act out the present and future we are currently constructing with all the care and love you are capable of.
I am keenly writing on topics of interconnectivity, slowness, depth, acceptance, purpose and clarity, hoping to offer a structured account of these thoughts one day. In the meantime, I am always here to exchange notes and thoughts if this might help you in any way with the challenges, fears or grief you might be experiencing.
We remain connected, even at a distance, and our ability to embrace the signals of our reality gracefully and with as little opposition as possible is where peace and resilience lie. Dancing and shaping this reality with the boundless powers of our imagination is what shall keep our heads above the water.
There comes a time to give
To give and give and give
As the source ethereal
Forever boundless remains.
A vessel, aperture or spirit, no less
What there, below, swells.
It is not the I that such current draws
But the current that the I distorts
Should one so permit
Its abundance, put lightly, simply to be.
I cannot shape what I is;
What I becomes, surely,
Or the past the I can recount.
The present, however, is but what I allow.
Hop past that stone
To skip to the next
(Jump, stress, race)
Seeking forever a new one to face.
Counting the stones
To move to the next
(Hop, skip, face)
Never enough those stones that I chase.
To look past the next
(Count, move, chase)
Blinded as ever to the path that I trace.
Stopping at one
To see my own place,
(Eye, look, trace)
Vision in stillness I start to embrace.
Standing in current
To feel my own space
(Stop, see, embrace)
Restful in knowing there’s no need to press.
Playing in turning
To grow from my base
Learning at last how the now stone to grace.